LDR Essentials
Long distance relationship tip #1: Use this time to get to know them well
Start slow, especially if you haven't met
Meet in person as soon as possible
Set up healthy communication patterns early in your long distance relationship
Prioritize talking with each other
But don’t talk TOO much
Give each other some virtual space
Be open, honest, and “real” in your communication
Learn to ask good questions and listen well
Find new things to talk about
Don’t avoid the tough questions
Read, listen to, or watch the same things
Learn from other people’s stories
Get creative about connecting (and by “creative” I don’t mean “naked”)
Write to each other sometimes
Discuss how you deal with pressure
Learn more about how you both approach conflict
Discuss your big disagreements in person
Learn to recognize and control your own emotions
Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship
Don’t stonewall (and don’t passively allow your partner to give you the silent treatment)
Practice taking your partner’s perspective
Talk honestly about money
Figure out the best, low-cost way to connect
Learn what your different love languages are and practice speaking them
Build your love maps
Discuss the “ground rules” of your relationship
Laugh together
Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful
Keep your partner on your mind
Help your partner connect with your friends and family
Figure out what helps YOU cope
Have other interests
Invest in other important relationships
Avoid situations where you may be tempted to cheat
Visit often
Aim for “balanced” visits
Plan ahead for your next visit(s)
Manage goodbyes in ways that minimize pain
Treat yourself gently after farewells
Plan ahead for periodic separations
Make a game plan for times you feel extra-lonely or sad
Practice trusting
When something doesn’t seem right, pay attention
Set a “move-by” date
Consider getting counseling
Regularly ask yourself if you still want to be in this relationship
Is someone moving? This major transition will have ups, downs, and bumps along the way
Be prepared to learn new things when you’re finally together
Ignore the haters–they just have no idea how to make a long distance relationship work